Marital Talk

Friendship. The bare bones of relationship. Not always, but often the foundation on which falling in love is built.

I have come to the conclusion that if a couple gets married without becoming friends first, and they do not work on building a friendship, they most often will not have a good solid relationship.

Friends care about each other, and can talk to each other without feeling like they are not going to be respected and loved when their friend knows the truth. We almost always treat our friends with respect, allowing them to have their own opinions, and express themselves while we listen carefully. We try to encourage our friends, and gently speak the truth when needed. We apologize if we have hurt their feelings, and forgive if they have hurt ours. We may not have everything in common, but we find things that we both enjoy, and we do these things together. If you are my friend, you can call on me anytime- and I will answer you kindly. If I am rude, you give me the benefit of the doubt, figuring I have had a hard day.

If my friend needs help, I am quick to offer it, and not throw it in their face. I try to be fair, and not critical when I don’t agree with my friend. I can talk to my friend, and he will let me finish, making sure he understands what I mean before answering.

How often do we forget that we are friends first? Does my spouse get the respect from me that a friend should get? He should get more respect- he is my other half.

Do I treat him with kindness, valuing his opinions as his, and showing him that his opinions matter to me?

Do I let him talk, without interupting, except to make sure I am understanding?

Do I help him when needed, without giving him a guilt trip or making myself out to be a martyr?

Do I encourage him in the things I know he wants out of life, and the things he believes he is called to do? Do I belittle his feelings, or respect them?

As a wife/friend, it is my goal to treat my husband better than I would treat a friend, but if I don’t evaluate my end of the relationship occasionally, I can slip. I want to make sure that doesn’t happen.

My marriage means a lot to me, and I am willing to work at it to keep it great, and make it even better.