Marital Talk

Last Saturday (August 4), Danand I were rushing to finish packing for a trip to Kingdom Bound at Darien Lake. It was about 5:30 pm, and we had a lot to do yet.

When the house phone rang, it was our friend Jim, for Dan. I could hear a little of the converation, and figured out that a wedding was supposed to take place, but the officient hadn’t shown up. All of a sudden, Dan’s cell phone rang. It was our daughter calling to ask her dad if he could fill in for a couple haveing a wedding where the Justice of the Peace hadn’t shown up… it was the same wedding.

Dan said he would be there in a few minutes. Then we started laughing…two calls about the same emergency. He said he had left his notes att he church, and I told him I would go get them while he shaved and changed his clothes.  I got home from getting his notes, changed my clothes (broke a record for me…fast!) and we were ready to go. He looked at me and said “You’re going with me?”

I said “Of course…I always go!” He was very happy…I am his support and his biggest fan.

I was so proud of him! He talked to the bride and groom (not together though) before the ceremony- which was an hour and a half late- and they were both ready to be married.
When he did the ceremony, he sailed through it. I was very impressed, especially since this was only his fourth wedding- and he had NO time to prepare.

Life is full of the unexpected. Learning to deal with things gracefully can be a challenge- especially when they can interfere with our plans.

The couple who had to deal with the “wedding that almost wasn’t” dealt with it beautifully, and came out passing that test.

Dan did too.

I have decided to do one book review every week. I will read the book, and then I will write a post about the book. The books will all be about marriage. I am going to be selective - I will not be reviewing any books that go against my convictions (I am a Christian),  that promote Gay Marriage, or Open Marriages, or any thing I am against. If you would like to suggest a book for me to read and review, feel free to comment and leave your suggestion. I read all comments (they all get emailed to me).

Marriage quote of the day:

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ” ~Doug Larson

This was true for us. We had a very hard time for a couple of years, and actually had decided to separate. Thank God we held on, and made some changes- both working toward the same goal. Both putting the past behind us. Both determined to give 100%.

The relationship we have now has been worth working towards, and it will keep getting better as long as we keep working…..marriage is a continuous work in progress. Just like life, you have to grow and change- and sometimes it may hurt, but it is worth the pain of change to get where you want to be.
 

I am not endorsing Dr. Laura’s book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage”, but after I read it I may. I did find this video from fox news very interesting, and agree with what she says here. <center><object width=”425″ height=”350″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/5cPMqVLEVIM”></param><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/5cPMqVLEVIM” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” width=”425″ height=”350″></embed></object></center> This is from January 2007. Feel free to comment.

Dr. Laura, marriage, wives, husbands, love

Check this out, and please be active in your prayers and take a step to help.
I am appalled at the implications of this, and the horrible thing is that it is not new.
When I open up my local Penny Saver, I see similar ads, and it will only get worse.
We need to be equipped to fight for our families, and stop being passive in our safegaurding our most precious gifts- marriage and children.

http://www.familylife.com/html_enews/070731_family_challenge.html?DCMP=EMC-DON+Jul07+Challenge+1&ATT=Trouble

Please open and read- then pray about your part.

Do you love me?
I don’t know any married person who hasn’t asked or wanted to ask their spouse this question at one time or another.
The busyness of life, and things taking up our time can put a gap in the time we spend together. Maybe most of our married lives seem to be taken up by kids, sports, errands, jobs, church, meetings, dishes, laundry…..I could go on, but you get the picture.
Feelings can be hurt and neglect of what is important to a marriage can be placed on the back-burner…and forgotten about until one of us wonders….do you love me?
As a couple, it is more important that we take care of us, than it is to make every meeting, or every game we possibly can.
When the kids grow up, and move on to begin life apart from mom and dad…mom and dad still have eachother- if they have kept their marriage intact.
Part of keeping the marriage intact and the relationship growing is to remember to love eachother, and to tell eachother of your love.
There are too many marriages ending because when the kids grow up, the couple who are left have lost what they started with because of neglecting the main relationship of the family- THE MARRIAGE.
Talking, having date nights, taking walks together…all these things can help keep the marriage relationship in good, happy, growing, working order.
Build on what you started with.
And ask if you need to…Do you love me?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=h_y9F5St4j0

How many people don’t like getting a present, a card, or any other nice little surprise or gesture of love?
I am not talking about when there is an occasion such as a birthday, or Christmas. I am talking about when it is just because the person was thinking of you, and wanted you to know it. They wanted to give you something that they thought you would like, because they love you.
Personally, I love this kind of present. (or any other kind for that matter…hey, I’m a kid at heart)
Yesterday Dan called me during the workday, and said “I got you something!”
I asked him “What?” , but he said I would have to wait until he got home.
What a tease!!!
He usually gets me flowers, so I knew that wouldn’t be it because he wouldn’t have said anything.
When he got home, he handed me a box. I was shocked!
He bought me something he had NEVER bought on his own before.
A pair of sandals- the right size too.

I know it may not seem like a big deal, and it really isn’t.

The big deal is that he makes sure he lets me know he thinks of me. Dan is very thoughtful, and I try to do the same for him. We give eachother cards, silly notes, text messages, anything we can think of to let the other know we were thinking of them, and love them.

This is one element of marriage that needs to be done on purpose- being thoughtful of what eachother would like, and keeping the romance going by actively letting the other know they are thought of during the day.

A little giving can go a long way.

In light of our contest for the month of August, and because we need to be reminded sometimes to “Give Thanks”, today will be Thankful Thursday. (I got the idea from a radio show this morning). Please feel free to leave me a comment about what you are thankful for, and also get your name in the drawing for our contest.

Things about my marriage that I am thankful for:

We are in agreement with eachother, we both love the Lord. 

Dan loves me even when I am not lovable.

I always have a way to tell someone “no”, I just say “my husband said..”

Dan gives me flowers…just because.

Marriage enables me to always have someone to hug.

I live with my best friend- and we have a lot of fun together.

When I need to cry, pray, talk, laugh….with someone, Dan is always willing to be my someone.

Dan always leads me to God, even when I don’t want to go to God.

Long drives are fun (so is stopping along the way).

After 27 years, I feel like I am in a fresh, new, loving relationship. And it only keeps getting better.

I am Thankful.

Time for another network wide comment contest for the public.

If I had $300 dollars I would buy________.

What would you buy with $300? Or even $200 or $100? Now is your chance to find out! Comment on any 451 Press site during the month of August and you could win! Three comments will be chosen at random to win a cash prize of $300, $200 or $100. The more you comment the more chances you have to win. So start reading and let those fingers fly.

As long as you are here, you might as well begin with mine.

Today made me wonder, how many married couples actually talk to eachother? I don’t mean just about important stuff, but even the little things.

Dan and I talk a lot, we also both try to listen well to eachother. Today, when I mentioned to some friends that I had talked to Dan and asked his advice, the reply I got was not favorable to make me think it is considered “normal” for husbands and wives to talk to eachother. It is considered the ideal among my friends …. they all (4 of them) voiced a desire to talk to their husbands, but none of them do, unless it is an important…let’s make a decision type of thing. How sad, that’s the way it is.

Dan and I talk about silly things, fun things, nonsense things, serious things, hopes, dreams, wishes, chores, kids, jobs, ministry, prayer, God, sex, dinner, laundry, weekend plans, houses, trees, cars, movies…..anything we can think of. And we enjoy talking to eachother.

Communication is so important in a marriage, and as humans it is hard to communicate without talking.

I guess sometimes I take what I have for granted, and I am sorry for that. Today I was made aware that though Dan and I are not “normal”, we are what the norm should be…. a couple who truly love eachother, and want to see our married friends and for that matter, all married couples have fun with eachother and learn how to talk to eachother- about anything you feel like talking about.

Someone has to start, why not you?