Marital Talk

Both my fiancé and I are pack rats, although in very different ways. For me, it’s craft supplies I hoard – I just cannot seem to let go of those balls of yarn I’ve had for six years, or the Rubicoil I used three times and have left sitting to gather dust.

In The Monkey’s case, it’s clothes. Most men would say they’re not clothes horses, and The Monkey is no exception to that rule. He doesn’t buy himself new clothing very often, and when he does it’s pretty versatile stuff. So what could be the problem?

In our case, we both have issues letting go of stuff once it’s made it into the house. Rather than tackle my craft room, I’ve decided that this weekend I’m going to tackle the closet space. I decided this when I ran out of hangers and we still had three loads of laundry to do. We just might have too many clothes for two people.

So this weekend I’m going to clear out the closet clutter. I’ve got a pretty straight-forward approach, too. I’m going to weed out anything with holes or stains in it. All those items, if they’re usable, will be sewn into napkins. Anything not usable for that purpose (think holey socks here) will be tossed. Anything that doesn’t fit will be packed into a bin and stored away. In six months, if it still doesn’t fit or we don’t want it anymore, it’ll get donated.

I’ve got some before pictures up on my personal blog, and I’ll be documenting the “during” and “after” shots there as well.

And just what does this have to do with marriage? I’ll come back here on Monday and discuss that!

Yesterday, I asked for some of your ideas and traditions for Valentine’s Day. Today I’m going to share with you some thoughts for little, inexpensive touches that can make this year’s V-Day a little more special.

Spend some time with friends. We’re blessed to have two other couples that we are extremely close to. we celebrate birthdays and most holidays with them, and they are definitely our extended family in a lot of ways. While both couples will most likely have dinner plans of their own, we’re considering offering up a group drinks excursion later in the evening.

Wake up to a loving sight. Cut out some paper hearts and string them with fishing line over the bed, so when your spouse wakes up there’s love all over the room! If you can’t do this without waking them up, string them all over the bathroom and let them go first!

… through the stomach! Bake some cookies, but use themed cookie cutters to make hearts, lips, bows and arrows and more! Add sprinkles and red frosting for an even more festive touch!

Make your spouse breakfast in bed! Take the top off of a tv tray and bring up some coffee, bagels, muffins or even cinnamon rolls. If you can splurge on some bed trays, all the better!

Go for a walk. Even if it’s snowy and cold in your neck of the woods (it sure is in mine!), taking 30 minutes to bundle up and go for a walk around the neighborhood, hand in hand, is never a bad idea. It’ll automatically slow down your day and give you a chance to re-connect.

Give the gift of time. If you’ve got kids, and you know your spouse has been craving some alone time, taking the kids to the zoo, children’s museum, or skating for a few hours to give your spouse that alone time would be a tremendous gift!

What are some other great ways you celebrate V-Day inexpensively?

This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, which is great for people who want to plan a romantic evening without the stress of having to head into work early the next day. But for us, with a wedding coming up just a few weeks after Valentine’s Day, a romantic (read: expensive) date night seems out of the question. So we’re already discussing plans for the day.3

In years past, The Monkey and I have kept our V-Day plans rather simple, with some pizza ordered from our favorite joint, a movie played on the PS3 (usually action, because I love me a good chase scene), and some cuddle time with the cats, who always know just when to sneak up on the couch and form a huge loving family cuddle-pile. And while this is a great way to spend any evening, really, I’d like to do something a little more special for our last V-Day before we’re married.

This year that is definitely still an option, but I’m wondering if there are other things we can do to spice up the day and evening a little bit more. What with having an entire day and night to celebrate! We’ve got some ideas, most of which are on the cheap, but I wanted to pose the question to you all, dear readers. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day this year? Are you celebrating in a traditional way, with dinner, flowers, candy and such? Will you be staying in and enjoying the day with family?

Head to Watching Showtime to see how newlyweds Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter are enjoying their first few weeks of marriage!em>

The other night I was having coffee with a friend, and the subject of encouragement came up. My fiancé tends to be incredibly self-motivated, and while I always know when to cheer him on from the sidelines, I’ve never had to be the one to encourage him to get started on a new project, or help keep him motivated when he loses his mojo.

Recently, however, he’s wanted to start a new project but has expressed his lack of motivation to get it going. I know that, if he doesn’t do this thing, he will feel bad about it later, but am completely stuck as to how to get him motivated. If I try the classic “coach” approaches, he responds by pulling farther away from getting motivated, which is the opposite of what I’d wanted!

My friend told me that, with her husband, in times of stress he tends to lose his motivation. And with the wedding impending, and approaching fast, there’s a lot of stress thrown around the house. Her thought was that if The Monkey were like her husband, then the project might just not get started until after the wedding. When there’s less stress, he may feel more likely to self-motivate and get going towards this goal.

While that makes sense, the goal is somewhat time oriented, and to start it in early April could be cutting it close. So I’ve still got to try to get him motivated enough to start. I know that once he’s on the path, he’ll be virtually self-motivated, and I can go back to the role I feel comfortable in – that of cheerleader.

What are some ways you’ve helped to motivate a spouse? Any suggestions to help him find his mojo?

With just two months until the big day, The Monkey and I are starting to get things finalized. For me, that entails a ton of crafting – I’m making all the flowers, amongst other things – and for the Monkey, it means trying desperately to keep me calm.

Last week we had a meeting with the reception hall to finalize the food and bar for the big day, and the entire time The Monkey and I were bantering as though we were already married apparently. At one point Gino (the reception hall coordinator) laughed out loud and said something to the effect of, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two had been married for years!”

And the truth of it is, we pretty much have. We’ve co-habitated for 2 ½ years, and the first year we dated we spent almost every second together. Which, looking back, was probably not the best way to begin a relationship, but to us it seemed natural. Within weeks I was doing his laundry and he was cooking for me. We were curled up on the couch watching endless movies together and spending as much time together as we could when we didn’t have to work.

It just seemed natural. Why would I not want to spend as much time as possible with the person who was quickly becoming my best friend?

So now here we are, two months from our wedding day, and neither of us is particularly worked up. Sure, we’re excited and can’t wait for the party to start, but as for feeling like man and wife? I think we’re already there.

Which brings me to my question. At what point did you start to feel like you were actually married? Was it long before the wedding day, like it was for me, or did it take some time to get used to? I’m interested in all sides of the spectrum!

Just so you know, this is not my official post for the day, I just thought I would hit you with some reminders……if you haven’t had enough of me, you can get more at 24/7 Moms

Part One:

the Super Bowl Prize Pack contains the following:

• 1 football

• 1 beverage pail

• 1 snack helmet (my favorite!)

• 2 key chains

• 2 hats

• 2 t-shirts

• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons

• 5 Frito Lay coupons

Go here to win…

Part Two:

If you have time, give this a read… Let’s Talk About Stubborn, OK?  Part Four

Part Three:

The unveiling of Jerri Ann Reason (a work in progress so pardon the bugs, we are working it out)

Just so you know, this is not my official post for the day, I just thought I would hit you with some reminders……if you haven’t had enough of me, you can get more at 24/7 Moms

Part One:

the Super Bowl Prize Pack contains the following:

• 1 football

• 1 beverage pail

• 1 snack helmet (my favorite!)

• 2 key chains

• 2 hats

• 2 t-shirts

• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons

• 5 Frito Lay coupons

Go here to win…

Part Two:

If you have time, give this a read… More ‘splainin’ Part Three

Part Three:

The unveiling of Jerri Ann Reason (a work in progress so pardon the bugs, we are working it out)

Wow it has been a good run. Gone. I am leaving Marital Talk. I never got the inspiration that I had hoped to write on this blog. So, I’m handing it over to someone who has guest posted here and you all loved. I started this blog in August but little did I know that so much of my focus was going to be on education and school with my first child starting kindergarten.

So, I turn this great blog over to Robyn Charles who has written more posts here lately than I have as of late anyway. She is planning a wedding and I think will be much more active and passionate about this place. So, give her a big hand…..

In the meantime, if you are just dying to know where to find me, (as if)…here are a few places……..

Thanks for the ride and enjoy!

Jerri Ann

Robyn here. Just wanted to let you all know that you can find Jerri at all these sites still!

Education Uncensored

Just so you know, this is not my official post for the day, I just thought I would hit you with some reminders……if you haven’t had enough of me, you can get more at 24/7 Moms

Part One:

the Super Bowl Prize Pack contains the following:

• 1 football

• 1 beverage pail

• 1 snack helmet (my favorite!)

• 2 key chains

• 2 hats

• 2 t-shirts

• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons

• 5 Frito Lay coupons

Go here to win…

Part Two:

If you have time, give this a read… More ‘splainin’ Part Three

Part Three:

The unveiling of Jerri Ann Reason (a work in progress so pardon the bugs, we are working it out)

Just so you know, this is not my official post for the day, I just thought I would hit you with some reminders……if you haven’t had enough of me, you can get more at 24/7 Moms

Part One:

the Super Bowl Prize Pack contains the following:

• 1 football

• 1 beverage pail

• 1 snack helmet (my favorite!)

• 2 key chains

• 2 hats

• 2 t-shirts

• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons

• 5 Frito Lay coupons

Go here to win…

Part Two:

If you have time, give this a read…  I’m Still ‘splainin’ Part Two

Part Three:

The unveiling of Jerri Ann Reason (a work in progress so pardon the bugs, we are working it out)

Ok, where do I start?  I guess I should introduce you to him first.  I met him through the ol’ bloggy world, twitter and he participated in my 12 Days of Christmas Give Away and has already signed up to participate in a give away at Blissdom.  And, of course, he sent me the book to read and review. 

I’ve asked him a few times if it matter to him how I handled this.  I can’t get a straight answer out of him.  He covers that in his book too.  He covers the fact that men should be straight with women.  And, here, I’ve waited all week on him to tell me how he wanted me to do this.  Still nothing.  So, I am going to assume that he is just that great of a guy and he isn’t going to “tell me how to do it”. 

Wow!  A man not issuing orders!  Ha! 

Let me just steal this from Moms Most Wanted to get the ball rolling….

Charles Orlando is an author, writer and relationship coach in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is an active member of American Mensa, and his writing has been published in a variety of publications, both online and offline. Charles’ past experience as a “morally challenged” young man—combined with over 1,600 interviews with men and women—has brought The Problem with Women… is Men: The Evolution of a Man’s Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness to life, taking readers on a humorous, blunt, tell-all romp through the world of men and their issues. Through his efforts, Charles hopes to assist women in regaining their sanity, and empower men in evolving beyond their primal instincts.Charles owns up to being a student from "the University of Life with a major in Womanizer, and a minor in Insensitivity To Others."

You can win a copy of his book over on Moms Most Wanted too.

So, what do I want to say first about this?  I actually have a fairly evolved man.  Evolved is Mr. Orlando’s word, and I don’t want anyone to think I am bragging, but you will see, as I do this review, I actually have a husband who fits into the mold of a good man to have.

So, he is mine ladies, find your own.  On top of that, I want you to know that it took me four tries to get him….and The Problem with Women….is Men addresses that!

So, each day, look for a play by play without letting the cat completely out of the bag.  You really do wanna get your hands on it and give it a read though.

Just so you know, this is not my official post for the day, I just thought I would hit you with some reminders……if you haven’t had enough of me, you can get more at 24/7 Moms

Part One:

the Super Bowl Prize Pack contains the following:

• 1 football

• 1 beverage pail

• 1 snack helmet (my favorite!)

• 2 key chains

• 2 hats

• 2 t-shirts

• 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons

• 5 Frito Lay coupons

Go here to win…

Part Two:

If you have time, give this a read…  So, first of all, I think I have some ‘splainin’ to do

Part Three:

The unveiling of Jerri Ann Reason (a work in progress so pardon the bugs, we are working it out)

Ok, first and foremost, there’s the Huge Super Bowl Contest Here and in several other places.  If you like football and wanna join in the fun, go to my blog on Mom~E~Centric and you can enter to win a huge Super Bowl Party Package from Pepsi

And, then, let’s see, there’s the fact that I am going to Blissdom ‘09 in Nashville…..anyone miss that?

I’ve never been to a blog conference and I can’t wait to meet all my bloggy friends.  Are you going?  If so, let me know so we can hook up while we are there!

Ok, I still have one work in progress so you will have to continue to hold your breath and wait on it (as if anyone cares enough about what I do to hold their breath).

Finally, I’m sure that most of you know that I am not a big fashion guru, nor do I try to make many fashion statements, however, I saw this ring on my cousin’s wife’s hand at the wedding a month ago and I emailed to ask her where she got it because people, I.HAVE.TO.HAVE.ONE.OF.THESE.  So, be on the look out, if you know where I can find one, please, let me know….

That’s one view…..

Here’s another

And, here’s what they look like on the finger, except this person has 3 of them, I only want one for one finger….

So, if you know where I can find one, please, shoot me an email or leave a comment here because I’m dying to find one.

If you haven’t had enough of me today, check me out over at 24/7 Moms…

Yea, so if those first 3 tips weren’t enough to make your scratch your head and wonder "what the heck", I’ve got more.  So, we will start with number four and get moving.

4.  For a great afterglow, choose an orgy.  Now, I can see the eyeballs of lots of men popping out.  And, the members of the same team of biologist reported that "under semi-natural conditions sexual behavior rats is highly promiscuous:  they mate in groups and repeatedly change partners in the middle of copulation.  This behavioral sequence allows both male and female to control the rate of sexual interaction, assuring the induction of a reward state outlasting the actual performance of coital responses." Hum……I can’t even respond on this one.

5.  Gifts don’t always work.  According to a British team, "nuptial gifts fail to resolve a sexual conflict."  And, so what they are saying is that nuptial gifts compounds found in the ejaculate of a bush cricket but still, I think we can all learn something."

6.  Bulk up dudes.  I’ve talked about this in detail before, it’s easy to find yourself enjoying the eye candy but is it really necessary.  Well, according to some sheep living on an island off the coast of Scotland, "greater horn length, body size and good condition each independently influence a male’s ability to monopolize receptive females…we also find that larger testes are independently associated with both higher copulation rates and increased siring success.

7.  Invest in lingerie and makeup.  So, we have the pressure as females to be attractive and to make ourselves that way all the time. According to the Mexican biologist, while males may be motivated to have sex by nature, we might skip acting on that motivation in favor of watching "Star Trek" reruns if we do not have "an appropriate stimulus, a sexual incentive."  Ok, whatever dudes…..

Ok, there’s more to this crazy study but I am giving up on it.  It’s crazy, it’s making me nuts and I’ve heard enough.

I saw a cute sign on someone else’s blog and at the time, I just knew I would remember where I saw it so I didn’t record it with the saved sign.  But, as it is, now I can’t remember.  So, if you recognize this as a sign from your blog or if you know whose blog it did come from, please let me know so I can send credit where credit is due. 

The reason I was so intrigued by the sign is because is sums up many things I have to say without me having to say a world.  Here’s what that sign looked like…

Well, I sent that photo to a few friends in email and my friend who is a Pharm D and has her MBA, obviously knows a bit about medication and business too, sent me an email back requesting the following sign….so here you go Krystal…

I’m sorry, but some of these are just too good to pass up….what did you think?