Marital Talk

I kept having strange dreams last night, so I didn’t sleep very well.
One dream I remember.
We had bought a new house, and the master bedroom was not finished- it was just a shell.
Dan decided to put twin beds in the second living room for him and I . I assumed it was because he didn’t want the kids to know we share a bed. (weird!!)
After a few days, I went in the living room, and the beds were gone.
I got really angry, and began to cry. Dan came in and said “Don’t you trust me?”
Then he led me upstairs to our new, completely finished master bedroom- with my dream furniture in it- including a sleighbed.
I told Dan about my dream, and he asked me “So, you didn’t wake up mad at me, did you?”
(That may sound funny, but it has happened where I have had a dream and woke up mad.)

I am sharing the dream to point out how often we can mis-read the motives behind what people do. In my dream, I though Dan set up twin beds for us because he was ashamed that we sleep together. The truth was that he had gotten rid of our bedroom furniture and gotten new furniture…to surprise me.
In real life there are times when we think someone may think or mean one thing, when they really mean something totally different.
It is so important not to assume we know the motives of others, especially in a marriage.
We can become so familiar with eachother, that we think we know everything going on inside of the other, and that is not true. The truth is that we all change, and we all see things different ways.
I know women who think their husbands only care about them being around because they cook dinner and clean the house.
The truth is that their husbands do care about them, but don’t think there is a need to show that they care. After all, they provide for them, stick with them, and are there every day- what more is needed?
If couples would tell eachother, “I need to hear you tell me you love me”, or ask questions such as “How can I help you know you are loved?”, or “Do you love me?”- then the communication would begin. From my observations though, nobody wants to begin.
How sad, to let pride come into a marriage, and rob a couple of what could be a great thing.
Why not be the first to take a step toward making things wonderful?
Ask a question, say “I love you”, or do something that will touch the heart of your spouse.
It only takes one person to begin…usually the other will follow.