Marital Talk

Toilet paper roll on backwards, toothpaste squeezed from the middle, socks on the floor, dishes in the cupboards but in all the wrong places, sheets not on the bed right, so many things to fight over, yet so little time to fight. Do these things provoke arguments in your marriage?
Are they worth having strife over, and being angry about? Is it so important to you that all of these things are done your way, that you insist on proving you are right, and any way not your own is wrong?
Dan and I used to have an ongoing argument, competition, fight….call it what you will. It had to do with how the toilet paper roll is hung. I insited the right way was for the paper to go over the top, and he said it had to come from underneath.
We fought about this so much, we even asked others for their opinions.
Every opportunity, I would change it to my way, and the next thing I knew- he would have it changed back to his way (the wrong way!!!).
I finally decided that, even though I think my way is better, it wasn’t worth having srife or stress over. Who the heck cares, as long as there is toilet paper?
I have even gotten to the point of, if he does dishes, and they end up in the wrong place- so what??!! At least he is doing the dishes!
Having a happy marriage means that sometimes I have to let his way be, even if I think my way is better. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if the cups are on the middle shelf, and the glasses are on the bottom shelf. What matters is that I didn’t have to wash the dishes. It doesn’t matter if the toilet paper comes from under the roll, he remembered to put a new roll on- and that is what matters.
Just think of all the stress in our relationships we could avoid, if we would choose our battles wisely- fight for what really makes a difference, not for the petty, little, unimportant things. Agree to disagree, and that even though you may like your way better, it may not be the only right way.
Now, if I can only get Dan to see that sleeping in a cold room is really better….(nah!!!).

To read about forgiving your spouse, see “Forgivers“.