Marital Talk

My fiancé and I are attempting to do something no other couple has done before (at least, that’s how it feels). We’re attempting to plan our wedding without going into Wedding Debt. Many couples will take any money generously given by parents, and then add to it using their credit cards and savings accounts in order to plan their special day. But early on, The Monkey and I agreed that we didn’t want to start our marriage with any more joint debt than our house. Because we both already have personal debt, we were positive that getting through our wedding day on just the money we were gifted by family would be a good test of our budgeting and our ability to remember what we felt was most important and not get all caught up in the details.

We’re now halfway through planning the Big Day, and I’m more grateful than ever we made this decision. It’s helped us to keep from agreeing to seemingly small things that could break our budget, and forced us to stay focused on the parts of the day that we consider most important.

Our budget is approximately 1/3 of what most wedding magazines will tell you is the average amount spent on a wedding in America today. Knowing that we were working at a seeming disadvantage, we immediately implemented these strategies and ideas to help us wade through.

1. We focused on what was most important. For us, this was having an intimate ceremony, and then being able to have a big party, full of drinking and dancing and even some karaoke thrown in – each of these things representing part of us and our relationship. This meant we’d want tons of pictures, our close friends around us, and a DIY feel to the day (I’m a rather crafty person) to represent both of our personalities best. Keeping these two pictures in our heads has helped when suggestions and ideas pop up, or we’re faced with a "this is something you HAVE to have" comment.
2. We’ve let the rest of the details get put on hold, or adjusted to fit what’s left of our budget. If it didn’t fit directly in with one of our two main goals for our wedding day, it’s been put on hold. That means things like table decorations, jewelry and accessories, and even guest favors are being either ignored completely or done in a much less expensive way. Items that tend to be big-budget, like flowers, will be done by me, in order to cut costs a ton.
3. I didn’t buy stacks of wedding magazines to look through. I was lucky to have a friend get married at the beginning of our engagement, and she gifted me with a few of her bridal magazines and books, but we’ve largely ignored what the industry says we should be doing. This keeps us away from thinking about what we "should" have, and focused on what we truly want our day to look like.
4. We worked through the major details in record time. By getting the hall picked out, the ceremony site reserved, and the photographer, deejay and attendants all nailed down within the first month of our engagement, we were left with all the major decisions handled and a ton of time to breathe. Attacking the wedding planning in this way forced us to make quick decisions, and has given us the gift of not having much planning to do during the holidays.
5. Finally, we’re keeping the Day-Of schedule as loose as we can. By watching most of my friends get married, I’ve learned that the more scheduled and set your wedding day is, the more money you’re going to spend to keep it that way. The only items we’ve got to be at by a certain time are our hair appointments and the reception itself. Because the wedding is so small and we’re being married in a park, the time is fluid. This makes pictures fluid, and most of the prep time fluid as well. While this is definitely less stressful, it also means we don’t have to spend a ton of money on day-of wedding planners, cars to take people to and from sites to ensure their prompt arrival, or delivery companies to get items like flowers or the cake to their designated spots.

The plan isn’t fool-proof, but thus far we’ve managed to use these five basic concepts to keep from having to dip into either our savings or our credit cards. What are some of your thoughts on sticking to a budget and keeping your wedding debt-free?

When not guest posting for Marital Talk (http://www.maritaltalk.com/three-months-to-go/) Robyn writes at her blog Craft and Found (http://www.craftandfound.com).