Commitment
Marriage takes a lot of work, from both people involved. But the first step to the work is being commited to make it work.
I know of two marriges right now that are ending, mainly because of the lack of the husband to be commited to the marriage, and to the wife.
To be commited to something, you need to go into it with a conviction that you will make it work. In marriage it takes working together to make it work.
If one spouse is commited and does their end, it may last for a while. But if the other spouse breaks their commitment it will eventually end, unless there is restoration.
Going off and doing your own thing is not commitment. Leaving your spouse to take care of the house and the kids while you go out and have fun (on a regular basis) is not commitment. Placing blame on your spouse for ruining you fun, simply because they want to be a part of your fun, is not commitment.
Some people think that they should be able to live single and be married- WRONG!
I am against divorce in most cases, but I must admit that I would not have stayed as long as they did. Most likely I would have given up sooner. I would not have given two more chances to prove the love and commitment. ( of course this attitude comes from years of watching the heartache caused by such things).
My advice to anyone contemplating marriage is to talk about commitment and what it means. Talk about what you will and won’t expect from eachother. Talk about seemingly mundane thigs, such as how often you will go out without the other, and how you will work together to make sure your marriage works.
Be commited before you commit.
That will make the difference.
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