Psycological Domestic Violence
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/10/20031008-5.html), so for the next couple of days I will be blogging about Domestic Violence.
What is considered Domestic Violence? According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence;
“Domestic violence (sometimes referred to as domestic abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. The term “intimate partner violence” (IPV) is often used synonymously. Other terms include wife or husband beating, battering, “relationship violence”, “domestic abuse”, and “spousal abuse“.[1] Family violence is a broader definition, often used to include child abuse, elder abuse, and other violent acts between family members.[2] Some legal jurisdictions have specific definitions.”
So often, we tend to brush off the psychological side of it. After all, there are no bruises, no physical evidence of abuse- so is it really abuse?
How about the manipulation, insults and humiliation one spouse may inflict on another, is this abuse? What about the husband who is controlling to the point of following his wife wherever she goes? Is this abuse? Is it abuse to accuse her of wearing make-up to attract other men, when she has never given reason to suspect such a thing? Is it abuse to cause feelings of guilt over her doing anything for herself? Is it abuse to humiliate her infront of others, or to control who she can see, how often, and when?
I say yes- to all of the above.
As a Christian woman (who is also a wife and mother), I can honestly say that I have seen a lot of abuse that is brushed off as being normal. Controlling, manipulation, insults, humiliation, and guilt are prime examples of abuse that is overlooked- especially among Christians. We look at the Bible for our answers, and tell wives to submit to their husbands, yet we overlook what should be obvious- LOVE, and treating others as you want to be treated.
If I really love another person, I will not try to control them, manipulate them, or use guilt to get them to do what I want.
In Ephesians 5, right after the verses telling wives to submit to their husbands, verse 25 says “ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This means he is to love her so much, that he is willing to die for her. He puts her needs above his own, making sure she is happy, fulfilled, and has every need met. If a man does these things, he will have a wife who is willing and wanting to make him happy. (Submit to him).
If husbands really love their wives this way, they will not use manipulation, guilt, insults, or humiliation. They will not be controlling and domineering. They will be giving, encouraging, and generous. They will be glad to help when needed, and make sure she has time for herself.
Domestic Violence is more than physical, so is domestic harmony. It’s time to end the ignoring and hiding, and make a stand for treating each other with love. It is time to be honest, and say we have missed it. It is not ok to watch silently while others are in pain- psycologically, or physically.
For more on Domestic Violence, see http://www.lifeasachristianwoman.com/author-jocelyn-andersens-opening-statement-concerning-woman-submit-christians-domestic-violence/
domestic violence, psycological violence, abuse, domestic abuse
October 1st, 2007 at 12:03 pm
[...] and women equally violent. More information can be found about domestic violence can be found at Marital Talk. domestic abuse, domestic violence Did You Enjoy this Post? Subscribe to San Antonio, TX. It’s [...]
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:48 pm
[...] For more on Christians and domestic violence, read Psychological Domestic Violence. [...]