Encouraging Your Spouse
The other night I was having coffee with a friend, and the subject of encouragement came up. My fiancé tends to be incredibly self-motivated, and while I always know when to cheer him on from the sidelines, I’ve never had to be the one to encourage him to get started on a new project, or help keep him motivated when he loses his mojo.
Recently, however, he’s wanted to start a new project but has expressed his lack of motivation to get it going. I know that, if he doesn’t do this thing, he will feel bad about it later, but am completely stuck as to how to get him motivated. If I try the classic “coach” approaches, he responds by pulling farther away from getting motivated, which is the opposite of what I’d wanted!
My friend told me that, with her husband, in times of stress he tends to lose his motivation. And with the wedding impending, and approaching fast, there’s a lot of stress thrown around the house. Her thought was that if The Monkey were like her husband, then the project might just not get started until after the wedding. When there’s less stress, he may feel more likely to self-motivate and get going towards this goal.
While that makes sense, the goal is somewhat time oriented, and to start it in early April could be cutting it close. So I’ve still got to try to get him motivated enough to start. I know that once he’s on the path, he’ll be virtually self-motivated, and I can go back to the role I feel comfortable in – that of cheerleader.
What are some ways you’ve helped to motivate a spouse? Any suggestions to help him find his mojo?
June 24th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Well with the current world affairs, it comes as no suprise that people have so many “disorders”. Thanks for all the great content.