Add to that the fact that I can’t lift very much because of my back surgery from a few years ago and my husband is left to work on his own most of the time anyway.  And, well, there’s the never ending relapses of mono….argh!

Anyway, part of this remodeling has been removing a tub and putting in a jacuzzi.  I helped get it in the house but I’m telling you, it was not an easy task.  We smashed each other fingers and toes, we had to turn it this way and that way, but he never got upset with me, he just kept saying, "ok, let me know when you are ready."

Anyway, once we got it into the bathroom, which was not an easy task mind you, we had to get it into the frame.  That wasn’t easy either but we did it.  He climbed around on all sides and we pushed and shoved and all that.

But, it had a leak….on the backside…yea wouldn’t it figure.  So, he had to figure out a way, while I was sick, to get that leak fixed because this man loves himself a jacuzzi.  So, here’s the contraption that allowed the man to work on the tub while I was in bed crying my eyes out over pain, not to mention the saws and smells of caulking and all that.

Either way, I’ve been sick.  And, if you’ve ever had to take care of sick people, you know that it takes undying love to do this.  We are knee deep in this remodeling stuff that I mentioned weeks ago.  Last weekend was my deadline for finishing the front deck and our family room.  Except, I was sick.  That wouldn’t be too big of a deal except, the kids were sick too.

And, my mom would normally help with the boys even though they were sick would be fine and I could have just got out of the way instead of helping…except, my mom had a funeral to attend and so she wasn’t available. 

So, instead of finishing this remodeling project which has half of my family room pumpkin orange and the other half plain sheet rock that needs sanding, he was playing nurse to me and the boys.  It was not a pretty site.  And, of course, after we all did our illness recuperating, he got sick early in the week so he couldn’t work on the house then either. 

Now, it is Friday night, I’m still suffering from mono relapses which are enough to make anyone crazy and the boys are at my mom’s.  With that, he is suppose to be sanding and painting my family room.  Right?  Except, it is raining and he says you can’t paint while it rains. 

So, he is working on the floor in the bathroom which is another one of our remodeling projects.  No kidding. 

Anyway, when I was telling you about the love this man has for me, I also want to show you how smart he is, because I’ve told you but now I must show you.  He had done all of this alone. 

In the next post, I"m going to show you how he goes about doing the projects that he simply needs another healthy human being to work with him.

See how pretty the floor is……

I know that neither of them refer to you guys but if you get a chance, swing by, leave a comment for me and let me know what you think about the over-all site structure, idea behind the websites and just general opinions.

I promise I will get back on gear over the weekend.  I am also redesigning my Mom~E~Centric site but that has to wait til later.  Also, I’m being bombarded by ideas and can’t keep my head on straight.  Here’s the sites, see what you think…

Education Uncensored:  The Blog

Education Uncensored:  The Social Network

So, if you are trying to work through disagreements or problems with your spouse, here’s a few tips from Ladies Home Journal.  First of all, understand the silences from your man.  Women tend to find silence uncomfortable while men find comfort in it.  And, then, women will read into a partner’s silence our own desires, fears and past experiences. 

It’s important to ask for what you need.  Men and women have different ideas of what it means to communicate.  Men tend to be problem-solvers and they do this silently.  They tend to go from saying here is the issue to here’s what we should do about it.  Women tend to bounce suggestions and possibilities around before coming to a solution. 

Phrase your questions so that you can get responses, not simple yes or no phrases.  And one of the more important issues is to learn to argue constructively.  Many men won’t say anything because past experience has taught them that past experiences have been criticized or blamed for past crimes.

Your partner may have learned to simply disengage all together as soon as you start talking.  make it a point to give him the floor, let him talk, let him tell you what is going on in his own mind.

One more important tip is to learn to appreciate the silences.  Most men are rarely considered the best friend of the wife so listen to the silence.  When a man takes his wife into his harms for along hug, shares in a joyful whoop with you or reaches for your hand in the car, he may be saying a great deal.

And, even though you have a preferred time for talking, you have to understand when the time is right for your husband as well.  And, if you try to talk to him at a time when he feels as if he is a captive audience, he will sometimes feel threatened.  Make sure when you do the talking, you do it when both partners are willing.

Here’s a few tips to make your marriage sexy.  First and foremost remember that impotence is a common problem at every stage of marriage and can take months to clear.  Talking about the problem can help and wise couples recognize that it is a wake-up call but could be a signal of stress somewhere else in the relationship. 

Don’t save affection for the bedroom only.  My husband and I used to greet one another at the front door with hugs and kisses.  But, as the years wore on, we barely manage a kiss goodnight.  It’s important to make sure you don’t let go of the things that felt so good in the beginning.  Make time for love, make loving your mate a habit, you know, the more you do it, the more you like it.  Make sex a top priority even if it means scheduling sex. 

Talking to your mate every day, even if it is just for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night can help the two of you stay close.  You can remember so much about your partner that you might otherwise forget.

As I mentioned above, my husband and I once greeted each other at the door with hugs and kisses.  Now, as I try to remember the last time we kissed, I’m reminded that kissing should be something you do often.  I’m not talking about the little peck that my husband just planted on my forehead, I’m talking about kissing as if you are making out in a dark theater.

If you are like me, your bed may have another body planted right between you and your spouse.  So, you have to be adventurous and find places other than behind a locked bedroom door for your sexual fun.  Break the rules that you’ve set for you and your spouse.  Get involved in an experiment with toys, videos and magazines.  And, finally and probably most importantly, learn to please your partner and make sure your partner knows what to do to please you as well.

1. Remind yourself that it is okay to be angry, and don’t feel guilty about having angry feelings.  Women more than men grow up believing  it is unladylike and bitchy to express negative feelings. 
2. Try to understand that although you disagree with your mate, you are not enemies.  No matter how much love each other, the differences may trigger conflict.  Fighting fair means you will not attack each other - physically or verbally.  There is no hope in name-calling, cursing, screaming or blaming, neither is threatening separation or divorce.
3. Never use information you gained in confidence as a weapon in an argument.  If you do this, you betray the trust your spouse has gained and make it harder for him to feel emotionally safe.
4. Never leave the room until you are either in agreement that the argument is over or have chosen to take this up at a later time.
5. Be sure to acknowledge each other’s feelings and perceptions without being judgmental or critical.
   

Ok, so here’s the deal, if a company were to offer me something…I don’t know what yet, just something…and I was to give it away here on the blog…..what kind of contest would you participate in and what (within reason) would you like to see as the prize being given away??????

When it comes to just saying, "yo, that hurt" or "hey, you are hurting my feelings" it seems to be a very difficult and daunting task.  But, we have to learn.  We do need to learn to say what we feel and make our point clear in order to accomplish the stable relationships that we desire. 

Here’s a quick exercise you can try.  You need to answer the two questions from your spouse’s point of view.  Answer them separately. 

1.  List 3 things you suspect your partner wants, needs, or feels that he or she is not telling you. 

2.  Now list 3 assumptions you believe your partner may be making about you.

Now, compare your answers and see if you even have a general idea of what it is that your spouse wants and needs and obviously, you can see if you have conveyed your wants and needs to him/her. 

After you have talked openly about the assumptions, you should be able to communicate a little better and hopefully avoid trouble in the future.

I think in general, you will find that women are pretty open to putting their feelings out there when they are comfortable. And, most women will even give you some indication of their feelings even in a situation with people they aren’t comfortable with. But, men, men in general won’t open up to the closest people in their lives. I’m assuming it goes back to that old adage that men need to be tough, and sometimes, being tough means spilling all your feelings.

I haven’t mentioned this because it basically is happening on the other side of the world from me.  But, the fact is, it affects those of us everywhere.  How is that you say?  Well, you know that a precedent has to be set somewhere before others travel down the road.  So, pave the way baby, pave the way.

I joined some folks in a humorous way when it comes to allowing people to marry other people..other people of their own choosing…. see…

 
Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.

There’s an entire post or two on Looky, Daddy devoted to this topic, go check ‘em out!