Forgivers
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ~Ruth Bell Graham
for·give: –verb (used with object)
1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.
–verb (used without object)
6. to pardon an offense or an offender.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/forgive)
When we say we forgive someone, we are freeing them from any bad feelings on our part. True forgiveness means we won’t bring it up again in anger. We will not rehash the past. We will go on from here with confidence that it is gone. Our claim to using it against them is given up…
So often in marriage there is constant rehashing of the past, even when things have already been dealt with and forgiven (supposedly).
When people keep a record of wrongs, forgiveness has not happened.
The saying “I will forgive, but I won’t forget”, is hypocritical in that true forgiveness enables a person to forget. Maybe not forget the action, but forget the pain and the hurt.
I am not ignorant that if we forgive, we will never have to deal with it again. But I do believe that if we forgive, if we do have to deal with it again, it won’t be with the same pain and grief the offense caused when it happened.
I agree with Ruth Bell Graham. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
October 14th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
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