Marital Talk

I’m looking for good information to pass along to you, the readers of this blog.  I am dying for some interaction.  So, I’m going to challenge you to an experiment.  Are you willing to try it?

Here’s how it works.  For 21 days you will live a complaint free marriage.  I read about it first on Simple Marriage and here is how it works.

It is simple, you go 21 days in a row without complaining.  Sounds easy, right?  No, it doesn’t to me, I’m a complainer and simply from our counseling sessions already, our counselor has agreed that yes I complain but that I am also correct that when my husband suggests that I am nagging, that he is the problem in that area.

Dr. Phil (and I know his credibility is ruined but this makes sense, even if a convict said it) explained once that it takes 2 people to make a nag.  One person to make a request, "Will you take out the trash please?", the second person to ignore it or say, "Ok, later" but never actually do it.  The second person doesn’t do his/her part and the the trash stays inside longer.  The first person says again, "Will you please take out the trash?" and the second person either ignores it or says, "ok, later" but still doesn’t do it.  The first person is now a nag because he/she has to say again, "Will YOU TAKE OUT THE TRASH?"  There is no please there and the second person is thinking, "why does he/she keep saying this to me?"  Make sense, it took both parties to make a nag.

Now, complaining is a little different.  So to go 21 days without complaining is an entirely different saga. 

When I read it, the suggestion was to wear a rubber band or something obvious around your wrist.  Do not complain to your spouse.  If you do, you switch the bracelet or rubber band to the other arm and start your 21 days over. 

Now, make sure you understand that a complaint is a complaint but just because you are asked to do something does not make it a complaint.  Here is Echart Tolle’s take on the subject of complaining,

Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put right. And to refrain from complaining doesn’t necessarily mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. There is no ego in telling the waiter your soup is cold and needs to be heated up-if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. ‘How dare you serve me cold soup…?’ That’s complaining.

Let me know if you are willing to give it a try, I’m curious to see if anyone is brave enough.  If I can get just one person to join me, I’ll give it a whirl, otherwise, having no one to chat it up with makes it harder to stick with. 

Can you do it?  Will you?