Marital Talk

I know a couple who have been struggling in their marriage for years. They have very little in common- other than both being Christians, and their four children. They have considered calling it quits, but over 25 years together makes it a tough decision, They have decided to try and make it into a good thing.

I give this couple a lot of credit. So often when things are hard we give up without a fight. Why not fight for something that can make life better, such as making a marriage good.

One problem they have is that one of them wants to be able to do what they want when they want, with no questions and no reporting when they will be home, or where they are going. There is no affair going on- just outright rebellion (reminds me of what teenagers go through), and selfishness.

We are all selfish- we want our own way all the time. (Me included!)But when there is a relationship of relying on each other, and being one with each other (marriage), there can be no “Just Me” attitude, and have it be a happy relationship.

We have a rule at our house- no one, not even me or Dan, goes anywhere without someone knowing where they are going. It is not only for relationship’s sake, but for safety. We also have the “No one storms out angry” rule (which really stinks when I am the angry one).

Mutual respect, consideration, and kindness are so important in any relationship- but above all the marriage.

If I respect my husband, consider him in all my decisions, and speak to him with kindness- he will in turn treat me the same way. If I treat him like he is a child (talk down to him, belittle him, nag at him), he won’t want me to ask him questions or give me information about his whereabouts.

Marriage can be wonderful and marriages that are not so wonderful can be made better. But it does take work. It can take retraining ourselves and doing things different. It can mean not doing what we want when we want, regardless of how we feel about it. It means coming to a mutual decision to make things better, and each spouse working on themselves.

Make marriage great- work together.