More about Kids in the Marital Bed
Having my children sleep in my bed does not bother me. I’ve mentioned that before. My husband however doesn’t like it, he not feels that it keeps the two of us apart, he says he doesn’t sleep well when the two of them crash our bed around midnight. The truth is, I don’t know what part of it bothers him the most because 9 times out of 10 he never even wakes up when they do get in our bed.
When my kids were babies, he would volunteer to get up with them for feedings. But, I would have to wake him up or he wouldn’t even hear the baby crying. So, I find it really hard to understand how he can be bothered by them now. But, the fact of the matter is, he says it does.
Tonight, was particularly hard. We have only been back from a week long vacation at the beach where the boys slept in another room, in a bed together and some nights they didn’t even come get in bed with us. Last night Walker remembered it was "camp out night" (Friday and Saturday nights are camp out nights, they just didn’t realize Friday night that it was Friday night because of the schedule for the week being so messed up), and I offered to let him spend the night with my mom and he chose camp out night instead.
He finally fell asleep shortly before I was ready for bed. Jace fell asleep on the sofa, Walker in the camp out area and my husband and I went to bed. When we got in bed, we both promptly fell asleep on our respective sides of the bed.
So, how is it that it can bother him so bad if one or both of the boys come to our bed? He brags about sleeping near a runway for several weeks during Desert Storm. He also brags about working swing shift and learning to "sleep when you had a chance." But now, now for some reason he is constantly complaining about these two beautiful babies sleeping in the Marital Bed. How can that be?
Anyone?
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September 11th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Maybe it’s not about them waking him up. Maybe it’s really about them invading ‘husband and wife’ space. I’m not a parent, but I reckon every couple with kids should have a “sacred” space where they can be husband and wife, a couple, together. Where they can relax from being ‘mommy and daddy’.
Or maybe it’s not even that complex. Maybe it just comes down to wanting a space of his own where he can be ‘man’.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:33 am
That makes really good sense and I hope that one day we figure this out. As it is right now, they are going to sleep in their own beds, although it is one ugly fight, and they move to our bed during the night. Most nights neither of us even remember them moving so I figure it can’t be bothering him too much!
Thanks for the input and visiting!
October 16th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
I have a similar problem with PETS in the bed. Is it just me, or would it bother anyone else if your spouse insisted that cats–sometimes up to three at a time–share the marital bed? I cannot stand it, and it does put distance between me and my now estranged wife. And I put up with it for almost 10 years. I would complain and complain, it would stop briefly, and then it would resume. Aside from the cat hair, the occassional fleas, and the tracking of particles of cat litter in the bed, I think it is just ridiculous that the marital bed be a frikkin pet haven. And did I mention the years of being awakened by the animals walking on you at 4 am? You know what is even worse? Your spouse telling you it ia all in your head and to get over it. The marital bed should not be invaded by children (except on rare occassions) or pets, period.