Not Knowing May be Easier
Many times when a married person acts unfaithfully, we may ask ” How did she not know? Weren’t there signs?”
And usually there have been, but they are seen more with hindsight than with foresight.
In the case of Elliot Spitzer, a man married for 20 years, the signs that would have been obvious to some in other circumstances, were not so obvious in this case.
Going on unexplained trips, he was the Governor- he was always going on trips. Money being spent, unaccounted for. Again- the Governor has a lot of money, and his wife probably wasn’t even aware of it missing, it was taken care of by the state accountant or something.
Then there is the simple reason that obvious signs wouldn’t be obvious- denial. Not knowing is often easier than dealing with the infidelity and all the baggage that comes with it. The decisions that must be made, and everyone you know telling you what you should do- regardless of what you want to do, or feel you should do, as the offended spouse.
For many women in this situation, there is the fear of making it on their own. Ignoring what is obvious makes it possible for them to continue in the marriage, even for a little while, to make plans on what to do.
Some decide to stay and try to work things out. If the unfaithful spouse is truly repentant, (admitting wrong done, asking forgiveness, and not doing it anymore), they get some marital counseling, and both spouses are willing to work on changing things, it can work. I have seen it work. But there is a level of trust that will need to be worked up to again.
Mrs. Spitzer has a lot of decisions to make. She needs support for whatever she decides to do, and she needs our prayers, not our condemnation if she doesn’t handle things the way we think she should.
Governor Spitzer, also needing our prayer, needs to be held accountable for whathe has done, both on a personal level, and on a public level.
Consequences, even for people in power.
infidelity, affair, marriage, marriage problems, Spitzer, Governor
March 22nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm
oh, it took me a minute to find the comment box…lol
ok, in hindsight….ok, I’ll bite and take back what I said before! hehe
going now to take my foot out of my mouth…