Raising Responsible Men
I certainly do not wish to alienate anyone and this is not a male bashing post. What I am interested in learning is how to prepare my two young boys as they grow and learn to cope with the outside world. The fact of the matter is this, my husband depends on me for a great deal of the family responsibility. No, he works, he his the bread winner but he has no clue how the money is spent. A few months back I insisted that he take charge of the checkbook and the bills and see if he could manage any better than I could.
Thus far, he is slowly slipping out of the responsibility and I am taking over once again. I know that part of that is related straight to our personality types. I am a type A perfectionist, he is more laid back and is a horrible at time management. He was in the army where he had to be responsible for himself so I know he can do it. When he returned from the army, he had to get a job and find a place to live, etc and he did just fine.
Later he married and he let his first wife handle all things that related to the responsibility factor while he merely sat around and let her work it out at her own discretion. And, here now, 10 years later and he is doing the same thing.
As it is right now I make his doctor’s appointments, I take care that his blood pressure medication and ADD medication are filled and refilled at the right time and as it stands, I’m back to handling the finances. I make the decisions on the children’s health, dental, school and schedules even.
So, what I’m wondering is this, how do I foster a sense of independence and responsibility in my two sons as they grow so that I do not have a son who can’t even remember when to take his own medication? I know that my father is the reason I have the attitude that I have but he isn’t around for me to ask and who knows, he might not have a clue what to do with my wee tots in this generation. So, I come to you, any suggestions?
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