The Marital Bed - Part 34435123413
`Yes, I know there aren’t that many posts here about this matter, but…well, it is starting to be a really old issue. Here’s a bit of information, just in case you forgot (as if anyone could forget this horror of horrors).
They go to bed fine. They watch about 15 minutes of Blue’s Clues or Thomas the Train (I insist on these two because the others are too active, those two should bore anyone to sleep). When it goes off, usually one of them is asleep. It doesn’t matter though, it happens if one is asleep or their both awake. After another fifteen minutes or so, they start asking if they can go to "momma’s bed".
Side Note: I don’t know why they say it the way they do but it is "momma’s bed" and "momma’s bathroom" although Wayne and I both sleep and bath in the respective rooms.
When we spoke to the counselor about this, he said, "tell them no and put them back in bed". And, Wayne said that he would do that but I would give in after they got up a few times. So, I agreed to let him handle it. Well, here’s my analogy, correct me if I’m wrong….
Human Beings cry when they are unhappy, correct? And, my children are crying, so that means they are unhappy, correct?
I am an only child. I remember having insomnia as far back as age eight. I couldn’t stand my mom’s new husband and I would lie in bed for hours sometimes. And, I would cry. I hated being alone. And, I would cry. So, what I said about my children crying, that means they are unhappy right? By the way, the counselors words to me when I explained my thoughts on this matter were "don’t project that onto your children, that was you, not them."
Is there anyone out there who see’s this with their children or did when their children were young. Remember, my kids are 3 and 5. Just curious if anyone has any thoughts on the matter.
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September 17th, 2008 at 12:21 am
First of all: what the heck do I know … I feel for ya, really. My first thought and I only have a baby, so I don’t know, but if you had bad insomnia as a KID, maybe it’s possible your kids have similar issues. Um, genetics? And i don’t care that a doctor dismissed it. I have relatives who have mega sleep issues.
For my baby, who is 9 mos. old, I have a bedtime routine. A ritual: bath, PJs, maybe a story, (we didn’t read to him as newborn at bedtime, but now he’s getting older so we’re staring to do it more at night), he nurses and then into bed.
I’m fine going to bed with TV but I don’t know that its a great idea for kids. It might not be winding them down as much as necessary to get into a good sleeping state of mind.
Do you have a calm evening? A bath? What about quiet snuggle time in their room before bed, and stories? Read to them, let them get sleepy and then fall asleep. Can you replace the TV with music that will play all night. White noise is great.
I hate to say this: HATE TO SAY THIS … but it’s what I hear so I’ll pass it on so you can consider it. Keeping them out of your bed is going to mean losing some sleep for a few nights. Lead them back to their own room, help them fall asleep, sing, cuddle, tuck them in, etc … and then go back to bed. They might show up at your side in an hour but you must repeat. I hear it will work but you have to put in the sleepless time first. (I know! Painful.)
I hope you’ll let me know how it goes …
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