The Secrets- Rules for a Fair Fight
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There are many rules that couples find they need to put up to make their marriage work. And, one huge set of rules regards how to disagree, how to argue, how to fight fair if you will. Here are few tips on the rules of fighting fair.
- Remind yourself that it is okay to be angry, and don’t feel guilty about having angry feelings. Women more than men grow up believing it is unladylike and bitchy to express negative feelings.
- Try to understand that although you disagree with your mate, you are not enemies. No matter how much love each other, the differences may trigger conflict. Fighting fair means you will not attack each other - physically or verbally. There is no hope in name-calling, cursing, screaming or blaming, neither is threatening separation or divorce.
- Never use information you gained in confidence as a weapon in an argument. If you do this, you betray the trust your spouse has gained and make it harder for him to feel emotionally safe.
- Never leave the room until you are either in agreement that the argument is over or have chosen to take this up at a later time.
- Be sure to acknowledge each other’s feelings and perceptions without being judgmental or critical.
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