Violence Overlooked
Today I will address a couple of areas where domestic violence may be overlooked.
Domestic Violence can be present in the home, and it would not be evident from onlookers, especiallyif the abuser was the woman of the house. Most people might think she is a nag, or that he is too mild mannered, but they would not suspect abuse, because women are not abusers, right?
Wrong.
Spousal abuse can go either way. There are more women who are abused than men, but there are men who are abused. I personally know of 2 homes right now, where the wife is the abuser.
Why do men choose to stay in abusive relationships? Some of the same reasons women do. Mainly fear.
Fear of being ridiculed, fear of losing their children, fear of being exposed as a victim, fear of being alone.
For men the need to be manly, outweighs the need to be safe. When a man is belittled in front of his own kids, he loses their respect. When a woman is physically abusive, men generally take it- even though most of the time they could overpower their abuser if they wanted to. Then they might be considered the abuser, if she reports them touching her. (I know of a case where this happened.)
Another area we often overlook where abuse occurs often, is in the military. When women in the military are physiacally assulted, it is often brushed off as being a misunderstanding, or not that serious. Toni Kemp, a Military Wife, writes about it in her blog today, “Domestic Abuse In The Military“.
Other areas where abuse may be overlooked is in teenage relationships. Teens are less likely to report abuse, and more likely to end up in a lifestyle of abuse if they don’t get out of it. (http://health.yahoo.com/topic/relationships/abuse/article/healthwise/te7751)
Sometimes teen abuse takes the form of one person controlling another. I had a nephew who was in such a relationship. His girlfriend had him jumping to do whatever she wanted, and he developed bruising on his arms, and came home with scratches across his face. She was a true abuser- but he kept dating her for about 2 years. When they finally broke up, he told how bad it really was. Thank God he is out of that situation.
If you know of a family where violence is a way of life, let the victim know you are there if they ever need help. Don’t judge the vicitm. Be there, quietly waiting. If children are involved, intervene if possible.
For more information on Domestic Violence, here are some other 451 press blogs participating in Domestic Violence Awareness Month:
www.herdailynews.com
www.about-sanjoseca.com
www.homecomputertalk.com
www.earthlygarden.com
www.watchingbionicwoman.com
www.watchingbsg.com
www.limitededitionfoods.com
www1PStart.com
www.astrologyexplored.com
www.about-honoluluhi.com
www.parentingandreligion.com
violence, teen violence, spousal abuse in the military, husband abuse, domestic violence, abuse
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:19 am
It is really sad that more men wont speak out because, as you said,“For men the need to be manly, outweighs the need to be safe”.
Great article!
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:27 am
I know of one couple right now, the wife is physically abusive, and the husband takes it. She belittles him in front of their kids too. Now the kids have begun to treat him with major disrespect. He stays because he is afraid of losing his kids. And the shame of it is..he probably would lose them. She would get them because women are favored over men in custody battles.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Thank you for writing this. Hopefully someone will read it and have the courage to speak out about what is being done to him.