Why is it so hard to just say what you feel?
When it comes to just saying, "yo, that hurt" or "hey, you are hurting my feelings" it seems to be a very difficult and daunting task. But, we have to learn. We do need to learn to say what we feel and make our point clear in order to accomplish the stable relationships that we desire.
Here’s a quick exercise you can try. You need to answer the two questions from your spouse’s point of view. Answer them separately.
1. List 3 things you suspect your partner wants, needs, or feels that he or she is not telling you.
2. Now list 3 assumptions you believe your partner may be making about you.
Now, compare your answers and see if you even have a general idea of what it is that your spouse wants and needs and obviously, you can see if you have conveyed your wants and needs to him/her.
After you have talked openly about the assumptions, you should be able to communicate a little better and hopefully avoid trouble in the future.
I think in general, you will find that women are pretty open to putting their feelings out there when they are comfortable. And, most women will even give you some indication of their feelings even in a situation with people they aren’t comfortable with. But, men, men in general won’t open up to the closest people in their lives. I’m assuming it goes back to that old adage that men need to be tough, and sometimes, being tough means spilling all your feelings.
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