Working Together
Last night Dan and I were talking about a couple who we heard were divorcing after 18 years of being married. This couple is also in ministry, and that seems to be a factor in their decision to divorce. Not ministry itself, but the way they handled ministry.
In any marriage, if each spouse goes their own way, and they are not working together, sharing vision and pupose for the marriage, putting eachother ahead of work, ministry, friends, fun with others- there is the danger of growing apart and being distant from eachother.
Now, I don’t know this couple personally, I only know what I have read and heard about the situation. But I do know that they had their own directions that they each were being pulled in, and that they went separately and willingly.
The deceit of thinking “we will be alright, we are stronger than that”, can be dangerous. When we begin to make exceptions to things we would have rejected before as being a danger to our relationships- we are already in trouble.
Having a steadfast plan is necessary. Sticking to it and being honest with eachother is also necessary. Part of being honest means that sometimes one of us will have to say “Hey, I need some attention here!!”, or “I am feeling left out by you, we need some time together!”
Working together doesn’t mean you always have to be together; but it does mean you have the same plan, and you both stick with it. Communicating well, honestly and often about your relationship will keep the doors open so when one of you notices something that is not right- you are free to say so. Keeping a watch on the relationship is what may make it work.
October 19th, 2007 at 7:12 am
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